This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
