U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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