so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize