He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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