dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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