At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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