That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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