You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
