Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
