i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
