How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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