The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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