As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
