Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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