I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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