you're like a bully in the Christmas story
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
