you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
