I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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