i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
