Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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