Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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