The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
