Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
