Kiss
Puke
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He felt like a one man threesome
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
