New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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