Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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