I wannas sexs uuuuu
I can text with my tongue
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
