I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
