were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
