I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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