im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
