I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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