There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
