This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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