you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We named our party play list daddy issues
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
