I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Less talking, more tequila
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
