She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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