We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
