i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
