I got chris browned last night
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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