yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
A bitchslap is in order.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
