i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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