You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
