soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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