Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I know her cup size but not her name....
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