so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
