i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
