dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
