My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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