What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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