Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
