I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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