She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
