I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
