I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
