Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
