This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
