the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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